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Monday, November 25, 2002 ::no fun content here.:: I did a respectable showing at the concerto competition tonight... and I didn't win. No big surprise there. I'm not bawling-upset, because going into it I decided that putting that much pressure on myself would just make me freeze... but there's just a major feeling of disappointment I guess. Unfortunately, Steph, Michelle, & Johanna kind of built up a pedestal for me to fall off of... they kept on saying, "oh, we screwed up, you'll win... we're handing it to you on a silver platter"... and while I should have known that I possibly couldn't win, there was just that niggling hope. Especially since my Princeton interviewer was like, if you DO win the competition, it'll look reeaaaaaaallly good.... and especially since I spent a month and a half working my ass off for the piece (Chaminade's Concertino). And especially since I can never win these things. EVER. I always freeze at Regions (and I can't even do it this year b/c of HMUN, even though it's Bach... BACH!!! so friggin easy), I froze.. sort of.. and Young Musicans' last year and the guy hated me cuz I didn't know any better and I wore jeans to the competition... and this was sort of my last chance. And needless to say, it would have been fucking awesome to be able to play with an orchestra. So Stephanie won... no big surprise there... I'm sure even if she thought she did poorly by her standards, it must have been at least as good as mine, if not better. And if it wasn't better (not very likely), she would have had the edge of T's favoritism. She plays every instrument imaginable and sings... and she's probably a better musician than me anyway. So yes, I'm bitching, but after working hours and hours and hours for this piece (never mind hours and hours and hours for other competitions), you would be disappointed too. Especially when you know a lot of people don't work harder than you, they just have an edge because they've been learning privately for their entire lives and have had money to do that too. --posted by M @ 9:16 PM | 0 comments 0 Comments: |
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