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Friday, November 15, 2002 Warning: major rant posting. Skip to ::end rant:: if you want to laugh at Dr. Kimmel's amusing antics instead. ::begin rant:: 5 Reasons Why I Hate Feeneys: 1) He's nowhere near as cool as Mr. Feeney on Boy Meets World. 2) He never answers my questions and always deflects them instead. 3) He has an inferiority complex so severe that he finds the need to jump up on furniture and be taller than the rest of us whenever he feels challenged. 4) He likes to give shitty grades just because he thinks that that will garner him the same kind of respect that Kenny gets, even though his teaching is about 5 times worse. (NO one should have gotten anything below an A on the creative writing/parody skit assignment if you did what you were supposed to do). 5) He thinks he's better than all of us (he told our parents on back-to-school night that he would always be a better writer than us… that's pretty arrogant for a first time AP teacher, don't you think?) and he doesn't know how to teach (he rejected all of my suggestions that it would be a hell of a lot easier if he told us individually which major weaknesses we should be working on, as opposed to writing a billion comments about things--sometimes very trivial-- which vary from essay to essay). 5 Ways to Kill a Feeney (or at least seriously maim one so it won't return for the rest of your senior year): 1) Spike his coffee with even more caffiene so he'll overdose. (Thanks to Nesty for this solution). He won't even notice what happened! 2) Get a voodoo doll that proclaims to make people sane if you put a very, very sharp needle into its cranium. 3) Devise some tasteless, odorless, colorless, poisonous organic compound which will decompose within 30 minutes of death and spike his coffee. (seeing a pattern?) 4) Arsenic anyone? 5) Get all decked out in black & sexy clothes (ski mask and heavy boots/spiked heels included), and just kick him really, really, really hard in that spot. Unfortunately, I have morals. ::end rant:: Chemistry was more interesting than usual today. Let's see… we spent 20 min. on Lewis structures, resonance, etc. What happened to the other 25 min you say? I don't know how we got to this point (probably Benjy sidetracking the entire class again), but we spent 10 min on how Dr. Kimmel's father was a very good illustrator who was a horrible businessman (Lu Kimmel, for those who're keeping track at home), and how he called someone recently to ask about buying a painting of his father's back. How much? "Fifteen-five". "Fifteen-five what?" "$15,500". "Sorry, a little out of my range there…". Apparently, he did a lot of covers for those weekly magazines (NY Observer or something like that) too. He started talking about how he was sort of the anomaly in the family (father was an artist, mother was a writer or something… something not even remotely related to science), and we asked whether the artistic genes were passed down one more generation instead. (Now I remember. For some random reason, he dragged the chalk down the board and was like, 'look! A dotted line!' and then he drew a really simplistic face-- 3 circles and a nose and a mouth-- and said, 'look! A genuine Kimmel!') Then we somehow got to the point where he started talking about his sons. Someone didn't know that he had 4 sons, and somehow the conversation degenerated to the idea of "be fruitful and multiply… within limits". The funniest thing was that he started talking about how his first son was born relatively late, but that "once we started, we just kept cranking them out" or something to that effect… all of his sons were born 2 years and 2 months apart, give or take a few days. "No more sons Doc Kimmel?" "After 4, we decided we had enough". Imagine this all coming from Kimmel's mouth. ::VERY BIG GRIN:: And I'm an idiot for not finishing my college apps earlier. Now I'm going to DIE this weekend. DIE. I haven't even started *research* for MUN and TWO papers are due on Wed. ::kicks self really, really hard:: --posted by M @ 12:10 AM | 0 comments 0 Comments: |
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